BOWL FULL OF BLESSINGS HAS MOVED!!!!!!!

Hello all! Thank you for your readership and following along this slow but growing blog. I have recently relocated to a new forum and all of my posts have moved with me.
I have enjoyed my time at blogspot but as we grow sometimes we must move on.

Please come and see me soon at bowlfullofblessings.com

We are still under construction but we are almost ready!

Thank you again,

Jen Cooper

8 Tips for a Healthy Marriage

 I am going to put it right out there. I do not have the perfect marriage and by no means am I a professional at marriage counseling. However, I have been married to the same man for 13 years this year and between us we have a list of 8 things that help keep our marriage healthy. Actually there are more like 15 but today we are going to talk about 8.  Also please note except for tip number 1, none of these are in order of importance. We believe from time to time number 6 gets moved up to number 2 and so on. Let’s get started!

Tip #1: Let God be the Line Leader

Some of you parents of grade school kids might giggle at this tip because if you have ever stood by to watch a classroom full of kids line up, the intense emotion that surrounds the role of Line Leader is never without challenges and/or arguments.  
Much like us as people, allowing anyone or anything to be the “line leader” in our lives is a difficult task. It requires us to let go of the reins all together. Not just loosen our hold. Ben and I learned this lesson the hard way as we have many of the lessons in our marriage.  We put everything before God; Ben will admit that he put me before everything and everyone else except for himself. 
The product of doing things our way was disastrous.  I could do a month’s worth of posts on the outcome of living backwards but I will be honest, it was easier to lead ourselves than it has been to follow Gods lead. The outcome, however, of our day-to - day lives has been miraculous.  Do we still fight? Yes! I have to fight, but we don’t fight as much and our fights are almost never over stupid immaterial things. Putting God first and between us has brought us closer together; as our faith develops stronger and more permanent roots, it does so together.

Tip #2 Be Honest No Matter What!!!!

Everyone in a relationship has their downfalls. For me, I think it would be my desire to control everyone and everything. That never works out really well as nobody wants to be controlled. Now I have two men in my life who truly resent that type of behavior from me. For Ben he has struggled with honesty. Look, we are not talking about big giant lies. His big issue was the tiny little lies. He would fib about things that didn’t matter, or at least they didn’t seem to matter to me. But all of those little lies led up to a giant gap in our relationship with one another. Trust is a key point in this list and dishonesty annihilates it. I have found when teaching my son about being honest, what we tell him is true for us at any age and at any stage in our life. No matter what it is you’ve done or said, no matter how big or how small, the consequence of your actions will be twice as severe if they are accompanied with dishonesty. Doesn’t that ring true in our adult life? At work, if I make a mistake and send the wrong invoice to the wrong client…. bad enough, right? But if I tell my boss that the other girl did it… exponentially worse. Now I am not just someone who made a big mistake, I am a dishonest someone who made a big mistake. Who is going to get the raise when up for review?  I would guess it wouldn’t be the person who you can’t trust, would it?  So, like I tell my kiddo, suck it up and bite the bullet. Being honest will never ever let you down in your relationship.

Tip # 3 Trust

You know that trust exercise when you fold your arms across your chest, close your eyes, and say; “With complete trust I fall” and then you fall back, hoping with everything inside of you that the person behind you, either big or small, will have the strength and awareness to catch you? That feeling of having to rely on something that may or may not exist, for me, is terrifying. Trust in our relationship and I imagine any relationship, is vital to its success and health. Quite frankly it’s the backbone of our marital happiness. I have had my years of questioning him about everyone he talked to and looked at and so on. That was because there was a lack of trust. In our relationship specifically, we got married 8 months after we met. We didn’t know each other very well and so there wasn’t a foundation of trust to build our relationship on. We both had to earn it and that process was incredibly painful for us. I didn’t trust Ben to make good decisions and he didn’t trust that I would still be there when he got home. It was awful. When there is so much energy going into second guessing and doubting your spouse there is never room for anything else, at least that is our experience. Building the platform of trust in our lives was difficult but it was worth it and it took a serious commitment from both of us and does every day. I am not a proponent of divorce or separation, but I am going to say if you can’t trust your partner you can’t have a healthy relationship- ever!

Tip #4 Laugh

I don’t know what it’s like in your household but in this house there is almost always laughter. We laugh at each other and with each other all the time. I think sometimes it’s what kept us afloat when all other 7 tips were in the trash. It helps that I have a funny husband. He is ridiculous and silly and not like any man I have ever met in my life. I don’t think I am that funny, honestly. But I think I am funnier because of him. I will do stupid and silly things to see him laugh and that’s not something that comes naturally I think. I heard someone say once that humanity is God’s great knock-knock joke. I would bet anything that God looks down on us and has a laugh here and there. I think he gave us a sense of humor on purpose. It’s not always easy to laugh and have fun with each other but it’s always so rewarding and edifying in our relationship when we can forgo TV or our phones to take a minute and laugh together.

Tip# 5 Forgive- Forgive- Forgive

If forgiveness wasn’t a Biblical principle I don’t know that we would ever attempt it. As it is, forgiving someone for doing something to us is not a natural reaction. Our animalistic reaction to being attacked or hurt is fight or flight. We attack back or we run away. It’s not natural and it’s not easy to forgive someone for hurting you. I have found it even harder to forgive those closest to me. I think it’s because the hurt is so much deeper because it’s coming from someone who loves you, knows you and who you love and trust. Regardless, Christ died so that our sins against Him would be forgiven, how then can we not parlay that same grace to our partners? You think it was easy for Him to give His life? I don’t! So we can’t expect forgiveness to be any easier, especially with those closest to us.  Forgiveness does not mean, however, acceptance of the act. It doesn’t mean lie down and be walked on. If my husband cheated on me, if he survived my attempt to kill him after that and I found a way to forgive him, it in no way shape or form condones his extramarital affair. It also doesn’t mean that our relationship will stay intact. Forgiveness is not a free pass for them; it is a path to freedom for you. It frees you from the burden of bitterness and anger. It does not mean the hurt will lessen or that betrayal isn’t as painful, it simply, with much effort means, you let go from holding it over them and holding it over yourself. In our marriage forgiveness is vital. We are human and fallible and we will hurt those closest to us even without the intent to do so. To maintain a healthy relationship we must discover the gift of forgiveness, in both giving and accepting it.

Tip # 6: Support THEIR Journey

In the previous 5 steps there is a lot of change and challenge that is happening in the relationship. As we learn to put God first, be honest, trust, forgive, and laugh we are changing and growing as individuals and as a couple. It’s really important to be supportive as either partner seeks to improve themselves but it’s not always easy. “You stepped on my toe. You did it once, twice, three times; in fact you have done it every day for the last 5 years. You expect me to celebrate with you today because you made a serious effort not to step on my toe?” Please don’t think I haven’t used that phrase with my husband. I have, I think I used it yesterday. But when I don’t allow him the room to improve or change or celebrate his tiny, tiny victories, it does nothing more than discourage his growth. It’s really hard for me personally to clap my hands when for three solid days he successfully did or didn’t do something that has been an issue for over decade; really hard. But I have learned from him that he needs it. I need him to stop stepping on my toe and he needs my acknowledgment and support of his effort to not step on my toe. Not easy folks but I love him and I trust that if I support him, eventually, someday, he will stop stepping on my toe  (One could hope.)

Tip #7: Connect with Each Other

This might seem like a common sense kind of tip but take a second to remember the last time you had a conversation face to face with your spouse. When we watch TV he sits on one couch and I on the other. Why? I don’t know, that’s just how it works. We aren’t looking at each other, we aren’t talking to each other and even if we were, we aren’t connecting. Ben and I often take time to sit facing each other, playing footsies and just talk. Talk about our days, Tristan, the dogs, our dreams, our faith, & our family. We talk a lot. We are connected. There is not a missing piece between us. That wasn’t always the case.  Not so long ago we sat on the front porch of our house and calmly discussed separating. He was working a lot and gone a lot and we just felt like we were more like roommates than husband and wife. Circumstances in our lives like both of us losing our jobs at the same time and being home together all the time helped us resolve the disconnect that had been growing wider and wider in our marriage. We now make it a point to stop and talk to each other, face to face, at least once or twice a day.  We text each other during the day to show we are thinking of each other and to check in with each other and we stay connected. We both feel this is an important and often missed necessity in relationships. Just living together doesn’t mean you’re connected.

Tip #8: Acceptance

As grownups we should now fully understand that you can’t change anyone. We try to tell our teenage daughters that they can’t turn the Mr. Wrongs into Mr. Rights with time, love, direction, instruction, and care. Yet we yell and scream at our spouses about the things that make them who they are.

This was one of Ben’s tips. When I asked him why he wrote this down he said; “Because I think that’s point number one. This is the person you chose. Whether you expected them to change as you moved forward doesn't change the fact that this is who they are.”  To that I reminded him that he has changed. He smiles at me like he knows a secret and says; “You had no idea how I would change. But I spent many years trying to be the man you wanted. It didn't work because the man you needed is the man I am.” Smart ass!  That’s not true. He has changed but he’s right, all the plans I had to make him into the man I had envisioned have crashed, burned, and drowned. What is left is what God wanted Ben to become and the man God wanted him to be. “And you still choose me” He says with confidence and bravado. Yes, I do. Every single day. I don’t like some of the things that make Ben, Ben. Like how he eats ice cream or drinks from a straw; I am telling you that watching these things is comparable to nails on a chalkboard. But I have to remind myself very often that I can’t change him without major surgery and rehabilitation, no I am kidding. It took 13 years for me to just say “Oh fine!” and go with it. And it took him 13 years to say “Take it or leave it!” Yea right, Ben has never said that to me…. Ever! Remember, he was never really sure I wouldn't say “LEAVE IT.” (I love picking on my husband- especially in public)

These are the things that have helped us grow our marriage into a healthy strong relationship and we hope you find some inspiration in them.

Fajita Valentines Dinner for Him

Over our almost thirteen year marriage, my husband Ben has come around from not liking anything that was fresh and made from scratch to having many favorites that only came out of my kitchen. He will even now reject certain menu items at restaurants because he says; “Unless my wife is working in the kitchen, it won’t compare to hers.” So flattering he is, but that means he is in the same picky state he was thirteen years ago, except his pallet has semi expanded since then.

I don’t know when I started making fajitas for him, but they were very time consuming and made such a mess in the kitchen that I would only make them on special occasions.  Over the last five years I would almost exclusively make them on his birthday or for Valentine’s Day.  My recipe has evolved, but I am still using commercial marinade. I haven’t found a recipe I like enough to switch over yet, but I am sure I will one day.

This recipe is simple, semi-homemade, and not quite as time consuming as it used to be. Or, I suppose, I could just be getting better and more efficient at making it.

OK ladies, gather up some simple ingredients and fire up the grill! Your husband and your family will love you for it!

Simple ingredients:

1 bottle of Marinade:

I normally use {Lawry’s Baja Chipotle} but we couldn't find it. Ben found this, {Lawry’s Santé Fe Chili} and I swear to you it’s the same thing. I don’t know that for sure but our taste buds tell is there is no difference.

1 Skirt/ Flank Steak

3 different colored bell peppers (we used yellow, orange, and green)

1 white onion

Flour Fajita tortillas

Now, again I got rolling on this dinner forgetting I was blogging about it and didn’t take pics of all the before stuff. So I will just commence on telling you how simple it is to make.

I first got to work on the veggies. I cut the bell peppers into thin strips and cut the onion into chunky half rings. Once those were all done I put them into a resalable plastic baggie. I put the flank steak in a baggie as well. I added the marinade to both bags, about a quart cup each. I swished everyone around and put in the fridge for a couple hours to get all yummy.

When I was ready to get started I pre-heat the oven to about 450 degrees and started the BBQ.  

Once the oven was ready, I covered a baking sheet with foil and dumped the veggies out and spread them out.

 I would love to grill these on the BBQ but I don’t have any grill baskets to keep them from becoming charcoal food. So, this process does a beautiful job of cooking the veggies, getting them charred and perfect. And the best part is the easy clean up. They are always s about perfectly done once we are ready to assemble our fajitas.

While the veggies cook and before I put the meat on the grill, I take my tortillas out and toast them on the grate till just warmed and toasted.

 I put them in a foil packet and leave them outside to sit on top of the BBQ lid. It keeps them nice and warm while everything else cooks.

Once the fire is about right I put on the marinated meat. 

For these fajitas I don’t wait for the coals to turn white, it’s a quick cook as the best fajitas are pretty med rare. We are looking for charring and caramelizing of the sugars in the marinade on both sides of the flank steak.

Now, everything is done. We pull out the cheese, sour cream, and my guacamole and start to assemble.

This guy is never without a grin when Fajitas are for dinner. Happy Valentine’s Day Baby!

Take some time to do something yummy for your honey this Valentine’s Day!

I was not paid, reimbursed, or financially supported for the any of the information I shared in this post.

DIY Class Room Valentines

I set out to make valentines with Tristan for his class this year. We both wanted to do something fun, easy, and silly. I was so happy to find these cute print-ables on {Pintrest} at Creative Capital B

Super easy! In fact, so easy I really don’t think you need instructions but here we go!

Surf on over toCreative Capital B  and print out these cute cards.

Grab your glue dots, scissors, and mini boxes of nerds.

Go ahead and cut out the cards!

Swipe the glue dots on the card and the box of nerds.

Press nerds box down gently but firmly.

Have your kiddos sign their name and Tada!

Super cute, super easy DIY Valentines!

Look at that smile!!!!

You have plenty of time to do them yourself for your child’s class! 

Go for it, take some pics, share with me- I would love to hear and see those cute smiling faces!

However, if you go to my son’s school, you might want to think about getting cute pencils or fun toys instead because candy is not allowed this year at the Valentines party. 

My son thinks this an outrage! And those are his words! 

But we support Healthy Schools so; these cuties will go to family and family friends and Teachers!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

DIY Sweet Potato Dog Treats

www.bowlfullofblessings.com

 We love dogs. We love Pit-Bulls. We love old man dogs that bark at strangers that are two blocks away. We love spotted puppies that chew through and eat EVERYTHING! We love dogs.

I (me being the mom) don’t love small dogs except for my sister’s 350 year old Chihuahua, Tabitha. My son would like a small dog, he thinks, and don’t let my husband fool you; he would be in heaven with tiny, fluffy dogs lying in his lap.

As dog lovers we want what’s best for our four legged family members. I have been reading a lot about commercial dog food, the awful scary things that go into it and the movement towards homemade fresh dog food and even raw dog food. We have been trying to find a cost effective way to feed our dogs a healthy and natural dog food. I have found, however, that it’s not easy to do it right and be budget- minded.

So, I am going to get creative. I have a couple of fresh dog food recipes I am going to be trying over the next few months to supplement their dry food. But today I am making Sweet Potato Dog Treats.

I have a seen a number of recipes for these, but one in particular that I just fell in love with at {17 Apart.}We tried their recipe and though the treats didn’t dehydrate as much as we were expecting, the dogs went nuts over them. 

Also, as you will see, their recipe is for dog chews. You will understand the difference in what I ended up with and why when you take a look at their recipe. 

Today I am trying again, but this time I broke out my mandolin. No folks, not my mandolin player,

 

my mandolin slicer.

 I tried to use this last time but the slices were too thin, at least per the suggestions of the folks at 17 Apart. So I hand cut the sweet potatoes.

I am not a fan of sweet potatoes; in fact, no one in my house cares for them. So preparing them is not something I have tons of experience with. I found them to be humungous, awkward, and very hard. That being said, I think I man- handled them just fine.

After washing these giant beasts, I started by cutting off both ends of the sweet potatoes. Then I shaved off the sides to help give the potato a flat service. 

After a couple of failed attempts on the mandolin, I decided to cut the sweet potatoes in half, making them easier to handle as I slid them back and forth across the sharp blade.

This produced slices, pieces, chunks, and the like. 

They aren’t pretty but I don’t care. They are also thinner than last time but thicker than when I tried to use the mandolin before. I discovered I could change the thickness settings. Hey, don’t judge me; this kitchen tool scares the crap out of me.

After having successfully scraped as much of the sweet potato as possible while still keeping the tips of my fingers, I spread them out onto four un-greased cookie sheets. 

Advice; grease your cookie sheets. Use cooking spray or olive oil. I found, while often flipping my pieces, I had to carefully peel them off the tray. No good!

I preheated the oven to 175 and moved the racks up as close to the top of the oven as possible. I set the timer for 6 hours. Every two hours I turned the treats over and a couple of times I switched the pans between racks so they each got a turn closest to the heat.

Over all I think each batch took about four and half hours to get crispy and perfect. So adjust your timer or keep your eye on your potatoes.

That’s it. A Sweet Potato Chip that will have your favorite furry companion begging for more.

Thank you to Tim and Mary Vidra for your permission to share this recipe and for the recipe in the first place!

All my love to all of yours!